so busy

I have been so busy at the school and at home but I am so happy - I can't remember the last time I felt this happy, seriously!!

I've worked so hard at the school - listening to kids learning to read and helping them to sound out the phonics, supervising group play, reading stories, taking down and putting up displays (which involved double mounting all their work and their names and laminating loads of stuff!), marking homework and getting to the bottom of who was lying to me (the kids are at that age where if they have done something wrong they try lying their way out of it even if they know you saw them doing it!! They haven't quite figured out yet that lying doesn't work if it's obvious you're lying!), preparing paperwork ready for parents evening etc etc... apparently I have done more of the to-do list in two weeks than the teaching assistant has in 6! I did so much that the teacher ran out of jobs for me to do and had to come up with new ones so things like the displays would normally be done in the summer holidays and since she is getting married this summer it's nice to know that my help has cut down on the amount of time she'll need to be in school preparing for the new term whe she returns from her honeymoon!!

The experience has shown me that I was right when I always thought I wanted to be a teacher because even the long days and noisy kids and all the rest of the exhausting and very repetitive events has done nothing to convince me otherwise! I know that the work is hard, I have seen all the paperwork and demands that the teacher had to deal with and I am under no pretences that I won't get utterly frustrated some days - but that would happen in any job and I actually want to be in this kind of job and that's always good - wanting to go to work!!

So now I just have to wait until the next intake for teaching and decide one of two things: do I work as an unqualified teacher and earn 13k for the year but have to work the same hours as a teacher whilst doing coursework and assessments or do I take the slightly gentler route by going back to uni and doing placements and my coursework at different times and also earn a specialism in teaching german to young children but only earn 6k for the year, meaning I shall be pretty much dependent on my parents still. The other question is do I train to teach the younger age group (3-7) because that is the age group I have always preferred or do I teach the older ones (7-11) because there is far more scope for my skills as a linguist and in the creative side of things like sewing, art etc to be used in my lessons?

In the evenings I've been looking after my sister - or rather answering to her beck and call - my dad even said to her last night that you'd think I was her maid not her sister lol... I know my sister has been really depressed and that she is in a lot of pain with her joints - I know and understand because I have been there too and I know how easy it is to hide behind excuses and let others do things for you... but it really irritates me when I come home from a long day and have to cook just because she is too tired because she did something *yesterday* or on my day off I have to go to the library on my own for the *third* time to do research for her because she is too tired because she's been away for a *holiday*... I'm supposed to be her support worker and I desperately need the money but there's a difference between supporting someone by taking notes and proof-reading for grammar errors and doing the research and legwork for them... it's starting to really take the p*ss right now and I keep getting short tempered with her and she'll get that hurt look in her eyes and I understand so much how it feels to be that side of things, I really do and it makes me feel so guilty for being so snappy... but I have a life of my own and I am working damn hard for little or no money to get to where I want to be and I just don't have the patience for it anymore...

On a nicer note I spent my day off this week (yeah I got a day off because there wasn't much for me to do and due to the distance we have to travel to the school each day and the timing of an afterschool activity it just made more sense for me not to go) I went to my Grandma's to teach her how to crochet... that's right *I* was teaching *her*... the lady who taught me to knit, sew, bake etc etc... I got to teach her how to crochet and it was so weird... esp as I only taught myself how to do it a couple of months ago! I now have two scarfs and a baby blanket on the go 'cos I like to have a variety to choose from lol. I think people may be getting homemade gifts for Christmas this year!