Sunday 1 July 2007

Movement - originally posted 11th June

Cartwheel_2

I happened to read my horoscope this morning and the last line was "any movement is better than inaction". Wow, that's exactly how I feel right now! I have this strange inability to do nothing... when I finished my final exams at uni I couldn't enjoy my summer break because I knew I had to find a job. When I left the nursery I couldn't settle 'cos I knew I had to find something to do so I didn't fall into a state of laziness. That is the problem, you see, I know myself and I know that the longer I'm doing nothing the harder it is for me to start doing anything again... I think it stems from my inordinate shyness ad lack of confidence - if I haven't done anything to prove to myself I can do it I will begin to doubt my ability!! Doing nothing then becomes far easier than starting something new!

Once I'm in something I am ok and I love being lazy at the weekends etc. Someone once mentioned to me that it is difficult to enjoy being lazy when you actually have nothing that you should be doing. I'll probably regret not having enjoyed my time a bit more when I don't seem to have any time lol but I think I'll regret it more if I waste my time.

So I'm thinking of asking a charity if they can give me some work to do until I find a job - at least that way I'll be kept busy and I can see if any of the charities need help in an area where I am lacking skills which might help me in future job applications - i.e. admin or helping to run a shop.

My dad suggested to me that I should sign on to an agency - which makes sense - but I don't know how I feel about working in temporary roles - I don't want it to be like my first day at work every few weeks 'cos I really hate the first few weeks of work when you don't know the routine or the people you're working with very well. But "ay movement is better than inaction"...

Anyway, I'm off to the library now to help my sister and I'll eventually be paid a few quid for that so yay to that!

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