Reiki and more

Thanks for all your well wishes following my last post, they are much appreciated (even though I have been very bad recently at replying to people directly).

2009 marks the beginning of a year of Gratitude for me - this is something I've been aware of since beginning to read the book The Prayer That Changes Everything. Although I never finished the book it made me aware of how many times I turn to God and the Angels (yeah I'll get to that in a minute) with pleas of help and how very little I choose to feel gratitude for all the good in my life.

As we began 2009 I found myself in a similar place to where I was at the beginning of 2004 - deeply lost and feeling like a victim. Too many things happened in 2008 and in the years previous for me to keep going with my usual optimism and faith. Yet suddenly I remembered that no matter what happens in my life I have the power to choose whether I live as a victim or with gratitude for my life.

Last time this happened I began an amazing few months of intense faith - I had always believed in God and various others spiritual notions but had never really defined what it was I truly believed in - it was like saying "I think there's a God but I don't know who I think he is". I then spent some time following a religious path only to realise that I didn't really fit in. I had too many beliefs that didn't coincide. This sparked a spiritual crisis for me and it was at the very end of 2003 that I found peace.

In 2004 I began chatting online with some amazing people and I discovered that I really did believe in Angels and that it was ok (half my issue was the people were very cruel about this aspect of my belief). I also discovered such things as Chakras, Reiki and so much more. I had such an amazing few months - I would send healing thoughts of love to the world, I would sit down and poetry would pour from me, and I was so much more grounded and peaceful.

Then I went to Germany and although I adored being there and the people I lived and worked with I was so afraid to discuss what I believed. I couldn't even tell people I had known for years about my beliefs, to tell people I had only just met about them was a bit too much for me. I just didn't want to have to defend my beliefs again. So I stopped connecting to what I perceived to be God, the Angels and anything else which could be badly construed. And I became miserable.

2005 - 2007 were harsh years for me. Although I had my beliefs I wasn't actually living them and this made it difficult. Although I was attuned to Celtic Reiki levels 1, 2 and 3 and at those times was very connected, I let my faith slip and I became weaker and weaker in my health and happiness. When I met T through our mutual interest in Reiki I began doing more spiritually but then with all our problems in 2008 I just became so bogged down in my human suffering I couldn't see past it.

2009 sees me beginning a new phase of connecting to Spirit - I am trying to do yoga every day, I am investing more time in my Reiki practise and I am trying to sit and meditate and pray regularly. T and I are looking for more ways to bring spirituality into our lives, we're going to have a healing and meditation room in our new house and now that he is working shifts and I have times when I am home alone I am trying to do more spiritually rather than looking for things to occupy myself with.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, it is a part of my life, which this blog is about, a part of my life I have hinted at but never openly blogged about. I do not want this new stage in my life to stop because of having to hide a major part of who I am. Each time I mention it on here I get closer and closer to being fully open. I want to share with you the happiness I am beginning to feel, the peace I am beginning to experience and not have to hide why I feel that way. My blog is not about to become overly spiritual - my other blog http://rootsthatheal.com is where I write those kinds of posts - but I do want to share this new development with you all.

I also wanted to say that if any of you ever want some Reiki healing I am more than happy to send some - I just never offered before for fear based on some old events in my life.

I think I've gone on about this long enough now so I'll leave it at that.