Random Thoughts

Thanks to all of you for adding your comments to my last post - I don't think I've ever received so many comments on one thing before and can I say it's gone to my head - I'm becoming a comment whore!!

I find it quite amusing that so many people responded to one of my random thoughts (and also quite glad to find I'm not alone in my hatred of horror - especially as T spends yet another night watching Dead Set... not so much scary as gruesome! *sighs*)

It also got me thinking - maybe I should write more of these random thoughts down as you obviously all enjoyed the last post more than my usual blatherings - which, may I say, I usually think about hard as to whether they would be interesting or not. Seems I misjudged you all - you're my kinda people - here for those little random thoughts that show we're actually more alike than we might think.

And may I take the time to tell you that my blog would be updated much more frequently if I were to type out a greater percentage of the thoughts I have each day - I just never did as I didn't think they were that interesting to others... usually they just make people laugh and shake their heads at how funny I am (in a weird way). Actually - T finds it funny in a haha funny way :o) I like that about him!

So what do you think? Can you cope with more of my ponderings and observations on life?

Freak out!

Am I the only person who hates horror movies? They scare the hell out of me - quite literally. Heck, I can scare myself silly by watching things a million miles away from horror - I can't help it, my imagination is just too wild. It makes me a great writer - but means anything I can respond to by putting myself in the character's situation (which, btw, I do naturally) is either the greatest book/film/series ever or the one that will haunt my dreams for far too long.

Why am I telling you this, it seems a bit random, right? Well this weekend we watched a programme about our nation's favourite horror moments. T LOVES horror movies and I feel bad when he has to watch them alone - especially when he would love to watch one this weekend. But just watching the clips from these movies kinda freaked me out. I was doing so well and T was even impresed I'd watched 28 Days Later when at uni, but then we saw a clip from Ring - not THE Ring but the original Japanese version. Omg, the moment when the corpse crawled out of the tv scared me so much I couldn't walk down my hallway for fear she'd be there. I'm 24 for crying out loud - I shouldn't be so irrationaly scared by these things anymore. But I am.

Maybe it's in my genes. One of the first dates my parents went on was to watch The Exorcist. My mum was so freaked out that my Grandma had to get out of bed and turn all the lights on in the house for weeks every time my mum wanted the toilet during the night. I'm not quite that bad - but I will curl up next to T and I cannot help noticing every sound and flicker in the shadows. Silly, huh?

But it's not just horror that scares me - I get scared by episodes of Doctor Who and The Lost Room. Has anyone seen The Lost Room? The man in the room scared the crap out of me - when they saw him in the photo a shiver ran down my spine and all I could think of that night was the man. He wasn't even sinister in the show - but that didn't matter. And have you seen the episode of Doctor Who where the Angel statues come to life and chase you when you blink? Ack - I thought they were coming to get me.

Sometimes a creative and overactive imagination can be good - like I say I am never bored and I can easily knock up a story for a child if no books are available. But sometimes that same imagination can just creep me out. Do any of you have this problem... or am I just a freak?

Salon Rouge

T and I were offered the chance to go to a Moulin Rouge inspired club night on Saturday and as it was free and we were to be put on the guestlist (oh yes!!) we could hardly say no, now could we?

But of course we were told about it Thursday and so we had very little time to prepare (especially as I was working both Friday and Saturday and being the "lead" at work meant two later finishes - i.e. not really much time to shop!) In fact I bought my first ever red lipstick on Saturday during my lunch - and taking the advice of a lady shopper I bought a long-lasting one which looked lovely but would not come off and I had red lips for the rest of the day *blushes* - I should have figured that one out before trying it on in the shop!!

I wore the red dress I'd worn for T's sister's wedding and she leant me a black corset, feather boa and did my hair for me. She used to do modelling and always looks so perfect - I am quite jealous really because I haven't got a clue. She has said she will go shopping with me and teach me how to use make-up (yes I know I am 24 and I stil don't know how to use it properly). But with her help I looked good to go.



It took her almost an hour to do my curls though because believe it or not I have incredibly thick hair. Well, no, actually I have incredibly fine hair but there is so much of it. I was always told by hairdressers that I had a perfect combination and so many people have commented on how beautiful it is colourwise and quality wise - it's a real shame I don't actually know how to style it, huh?

T also got into the mood and got all dressed up - he even took his "cigar" with him. T used to smoke and loved a cigar on special occasions but he gave up a while back (for which I am very thankful). However when he found this snazzy fake cigar which has vapour in it he had to buy it. I tried it out of curiosity wondering how it worked - bleugh it tasted like a cigar smells - weird how it can just be vapour but have that taste.


So, just over and hour late we arrived at the scene (hey I had to eat, watch Strictly Come Dancing, shower, get changed and do my hair - I think I did well to get all that into less than 3 hours tee hee). Besides, we were on the guestlist - what did we care about being on time?! The bouncers on the door were lovely - very polite and we felt very welcomed into the whole thing. There were loads of people there, most dressed up - some more than others - and we found ourselves some drinks and then a place to perch ourselves to watch the entertainment.


No, that is NOT a pint of beer in my hand - it was a non-alcoholic cocktail - the one thing wrong with the whole night was the fact the cocktails didn't come in fancy glasses as was befitting such an event. The music fit, the dancing fit, the entertainment and company was perfect - just the glass was wrong and I'll forgive them for that!

Do you like my stocings btw? T bought me them. And the gloves were his mum's - I never did ask what she was doing with such a pair of gloves. The pearl bracelet and necklace were bot gifts from T (one for Christmas, the other for Valentine's). Did I mention that this weekend we also celebrated our 1 year anniversary - crazy to think it's only been a year!

Anyway, back to business. The entertainment was fantastic. The host - this wonderful "lady" *ahem* here was hilarious. We tried to get a picture with her but the girl taking our photo couldn't figure out our camera (I blame the drink) and so you can't actually see it is us.



She was accompanied by her two starlets who roamed the floor, getting people in the mood and generally having a good time. It really did feel like being taken by to 1920s Paris - people were there for a good time and nobody cared that we were dressed strangely or in provocative outfits - you knew you weren't going to be manhandled by drunken men - it just didn't happen that way.



I think the highlight of the whole evening was Empress Stah however - she was amazing and did things with her body I never knew a woman could do. To say I was overwhelmed by the ladies in the circus the other day and thought I'd never see their match was perhaps premature. This lady must have had thighs of steel - the act just went on forever!

(Did you spot the sailor?)

There was dancing between each of the acts - the first time T and I have danced together. T used to go to raves and loves to dance but I never enjoyed going out because everyone else would be drunk and I'd be all self-conscious and sober. It didn't matter that night, I was with the man I love and we were having fun. So we boogied on down until the next act, by which stage we were quite tired and decided to call it a night (although the party actually went on for another 2 hours!!)

Lady Carol sang some songs with her teensy, little guitar and gave us all her thoughts on being a lady "why do we worry about leaving lipstick marks on glasses - I like to leave mine on everyone's glass so I can claim it was mine and get free drinks," and "if you leave lipstick marks all over the place you can retrace your steps back home the next day - much cheaper than a taxi". Lol.

And so I leave you with a lasting impression of my smooth, sleek and handsome (he's mine ladies) man enjoying his last smoke of the evening.

Circus

I've never been to the circus before. I've always wondered what it would be like. Last night I found out because thanks to our local Chinese takeaway and my work we managed to get 3 free tickets to the Chinese State Circus. So T and I took T's brother along as a 21st birthday treat (that we didn't pay for *blushes*) And it was amazing!

Seriously - the skill involved in what these people can do is incredible. We saw ladies spinning plates whilst doing all sorts of acrobatics (who else can keep 12 plates spinning whilst having another person stood on top of their heads!!), men doing all sorts of incredible flying leaps through hoops and off swinging bars, we even saw a lion dance :o) Then there was the contortionist who could rest her bottom on her head (ouch) and the man who balanced himself on ever so sharp poles. And let's not forget the man and woman flying around the room held aloft by silks! Amazing...

I wasn't quite so keen on the "narrator" - a man prancing around whilst a pre-recorded narrative was played - nor did I enjoy the man with swords (he seemed far too much like an energetic child playing warrior - although I am sure lots of skill actually goes into what he does). And the people who blatantly ignored the "please do not use cameras" message seriously got on my nerves (how rude). But all in all I had a wonderful evening.

I don't think I would like any other circus - freak shows and clowns just don't do it for me - but the skill that was shown last night just took my breath away. Even when the ladies didn't quite master all their tricks with the diabolo it was still a great piece to watch and I found myself clapping even harder to let them know it didnt matter - I still loved them!

I won't forget last night for a long time - if ever!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who are following my private blog I have just put up a new message. Let me know if you want to be informed when I update or whether you'll just check yourself every now and then.

No more than a list

I have been meaning to post something all week so that my previous two posts are not just hanging there. I am still in two minds about my private blog - there is a part of me that feels I need to write about what is going on but there is a part of me that says "why should you feel you have to hide it away?" I guess it is so hard because I am someone who goes all the way with the things I do and this just seems so half-hearted - I would normally either keep my mouth shut or be open with all those around me about it. It feels weird because I am writing it as a blog because I feel I want some support but I am actually shutting off that support by keeping it private. And having those last two posts at the top of my blog just keeps reminding me I have to work this out and as I cannot decide just yet I thought I'd better post something new here.

But I can't decide what to write about so I thought I would just write a list of updates for you all on what is happening chez Amanda!

1. I love my job. Seriously. I used to spend my weekends thinking about how I could get out of the work I did (because however much I loved care work it was so tiring I couldn't imagine doing it for the rest of my life). Now I just look forward to spending as much time as I can where I work. Especially as I have the opportunity to train as a tour guide for free and have the assistance of Russian and German speaking guides to help me improve my languages in a useful way - how cool!
2. I also love my job because the people I work with are so lovely. I especially love the fact that we have a good laugh, especially when I say odd things (as I often do) or do something very "Amanda-like" (you gotta know me to know what I mean by this!) Anyway they genuinely care for each and every other person of the team. And as such they have offered T the chance to work as a casual member of staff until his new job finish all their checks on his health and references etc before letting him start.
3. I even love my job when there are only two of us on the desk and I have to man it all by myself - it gives me a buzz that I am already trusted to do work to a high standard. Whoo!
4. T and I joined a church last weekend. We have been thinking of doing this for ages but we just never got around to it. I miss the community part of it all and we both knew we needed something regular to kick us up the butts and get us remembering the make time for our spirituality. We were so happy to find the Unitarian church near to us where the people meet in a very open manner where the similarities the members have are more important than the differences, yet the differences are valued as a way to analyse one's own faith. The first service we went to was an evening service or silence, prayer and lighting candles. There were only 4 of us and the minister and it was so beautiful. We went to the morning service today and the minister (who used to be a professional jazz musician) played his bass for us :o)
5. We also went to a Mind, Body and Soul show yesterday where we heard Lucinda Drayton singing, which reminded us of some of the first weekends we were together as a couple. It is almost our 1 year anniversary and we heard her play that first weekend when we moved from friendship to partners and it almost went disastrously wrong. I also got to meet an old friend who I have missed and didn't know would be there. I was suddenly wrapped in the biggest hug I've ever had - what a surprise!!
6. T took me driving today - I am still terrified of driving so there were a few tears. But we had a good old giggle when the L plates when flying off the car and we had to turn around and run back along the road looking for it.

I think that's it for now - all in all good stuff. We are very blessed, despite the problems we're facing and we are so lucky to be reminded of all this.

Have a lovely week. xx

Whoops

Just a quick note as an addition to my last post - I'm not pregnant! I've already had a few people thinking this is what I might have been talking about and upon re-reading my last post to T I realise how it could have come across that way - my bad *blushes*

The issue I am having is with my reproductive system but it is actually nothing to do with pregnancy. We're not planning on that for at least a couple more years - we'd like a house big enough to fit a family in for starters ;o)

Just so you know :o) (don't want to get anyone's hopes up or anything!)

Don't forget - just let me know if you want to read the private blog. I've started setting one up so it will be up and running this week.

To tell or not...

Since Tuesday I've had a rather startling issue whirling around in my mind -and I just cannot decide whether to blog about it or not. It's not that I don't trust my regular readers, because I do - it's the fact that it could be out there for all to see and it's those I don't know that makes me worry. Not just that, but is it really something that you guys are gonna want to read about?

I have been thinking about it for days and I see two options - to just tell everyone openly on here or to do as I have seen others do and open a password protected blog for now which you can only get the password to by emailing me. The third option of course is not to bother at all - but as it is such a huge thing (for me anyway) it would be good to share it with a few people, especially as I don't know anyone but my work colleagues here and T's family and although I have told my two managers and one colleague just so that they know what's going on with me, I have decided not to make it common knowledge at work. I'd much rather as few people as possible know - it's a rather sensitive subject, you see. I wouldn't have even told my managers if I wasn't concerned it might affect me workwise occasionally (even if just for doctors' appointments) and I told one colleague just because I haven't been able to speak to my mum about it yet (she's on holiday) and I needed to speak to another woman (however wonderful T is, he just isn't a woman).

Are you getting a hint as to why I don't want this to be so public? I guess the question is really this - would any of you guys visit a password protected blog? I'm not dying - it probably doesn't even seem that bad to some people, but it is a massive thing to me (and I cannot say more without giving the whole game away). If no one is interested I will just keep a journal for myself, but if you do feel you want to give some female friendship and insight by reading it then please leave me a comment or email me and I'll make my decision over the next week or two.

And if no one is interested just ignore this post - regular blogging will resume next week. For all intents and purposes, outside of the private world nothing is happening.