The Dirty Penguin

I went to Glastonbury with some friends last weekend. I left my home at 6:30am on Friday morning and returned home at 6:30pm Monday evening and had such a blast I can't tell you!!

I have so many wonderful pictures and stories to tell you but I want to begin with the story of an unfortunate penguin I met along the way!

Friday night we went to a gig my friend and her daughter were doing in a local pub. Whilst we were there we met a guy from another band called The Dirty Penguins. They had a little friend who lived in the pub - we'll call him Percy for the sake of anonymity!! This is Percy's tale!

Whilst watching Angelica performing their closing act, Percy's eyes were drawn to a mysterious beauty across the room. His heart skipped a beat as her eyes met his and he knew right then he wanted nothing more than to speak to this girl. Beckoning her across to his side, he put all this charm to work and was overjoyed when the girl took him in her arms and asked him to return to her hotel room for a night of pleasure. Unfortunately, he was only a little penguin still and knew that papa penguin would never let him leave with strangers. So he had to hide beneath her coat and keep as quiet as a mouse!


Upon arrival at the girl's hotel room he stood nervously waiting whilst she powdered her nose. He was worried that he might be too dirty for her so he ran to the mirror to check his appearance.


Seeing his distress, the beautiful girl's equally gorgeous friend (that would be me hehe) rushed to reassure him with a kiss. That made him blush - he'd never been kissed like that before!!


This gorgeous girl promised him that the beautiful girl would bestow many more kisses upon his beak when she returned which excited him so much he performed his greatest acrobatic tricks off the top of their wardrobe!


Eventually the beautiful girl returned and Percy was overjoyed when he found himself lying in her arms. He sighed with delight and snuggled into his beautiful treasure, lapping up all the attention she would give him.


At last, the time came for them to sleep, and sleep Percy did. So comfortable was the bed and so exciting his dreams!


He dreamt of the day when he would be a tv star!! The Beautiful girl and her gorgeous friends had promised him that with a little bit of work he would one day be the greatest penguin on the box!!


Percy awoke early the next morning and decided to have a shower. He no longer wanted to be a dirty penguin, having smelt what it was like to be in the company of the sweetest smelling girl in the world. So he stole her shampoo and washed off his feathers, ready to face a new day.


He dried himself off and made his way to the kitchen and cooked up a perfect breakfast for his perfect new friends. How proud he was!!


But, alas!! When he returned to the bedroom with the breakfast on a tray, he found a note upon his pillow. I would show you the note, but it is torn into a thousand pieces, such was Percy's grief!! However, I remember the words for they were written with my best pen...

Dear Percy,

What a wonderful time we had... but all good things must come to an end. It is time for us to go now, but we shall remember you, my darling! Remember us, your beautiful girl and her gorgeous friends when you make it as a star!

Love, your beautiful girl xx

We were already on our way by the time Percy had packed his bags and returned home to papa penguin, drying his tears with a hanky which smelt of the beautiful girl. It would be cruel of me to post pictures of his sorrow - and you must be sure to send him your love, for he really is heartbroken. It took him 3 days to get the scent of her shampoo off his feathers, three days of crying each time he caught a whiff!

Percy, or darling Dirty Penguin, we shall remember you always xx



note: no penguins were harmed in the making of this post!!

please excuse the dates on the photos they are completely wrong and I couldn't work my sister's camera out to take them off... I promise you they were all taken this weekend just past!

And now you know just how extremely mad I truly am!