Thursday 1 May 2008

Thanks

I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all of you who sent me birthday wishes and/or left such kind and wise words after my last post. I feel very blessed to have such support to remind me to step back and realise a) what I have b) how far I've come and c) remember that just as when I was as depressed and stressed as T is now, I can no more help him than anybody could help me other thank offering an open ear and arms to curl up in. So thank you for that!

I am still concerned and feeling so sorry for him - I feel helpless to help him and I hate that feeling, but I know that only he can make the change to help himself, all I can do is support him as best I can. It breaks my heart to see him suffer so, but I see progress in his thinking - moving towards doing what he feels he needs to rather than what he's been told by others he has to do - so that is good!

I have my half day off work this morning so I am taking some time to relax before going to meet my Aunty for coffee. My parents are coming up on Saturday with the rest of my stuff, so we can finally get the flat sorted. I promise I will have photos of it soon - I got some money for my birthday which I am going to use to buy a new camera!! I have so missed having one since mine died about a year ago, but I just haven't been able to afford a new one until now. I am looking forward to getting more photos on this blog, as well as just enjoying the entire process of snapping things and capturing the beauty around me, especially at this time of year!

I have several projects I would love to take the time to start, and I really must start making time - but at present work is just tiring me out. We are understaffed a bit at the moment and nobody seems to know where I am going to be based, so I am put wherever I'm needed at the moment. This is fine, but it is always nice to have a room and children you are based with, plus it means at the moment I am placed in busy rooms, so I rarely get a quiet day (except last Friday when I had time to go through all the toys, clothes and art supplies in our quiet room and rearrange the whole area!! I have to say that was a relief to get it all clear!)

I have behaviour management next week at our other nursery, which will be good but it will also mean a long week - at least I have Monday off! I'm also supposed to be having my Tiny Talk exam today, so I hope she comes this afternoon, otherwise I will miss it and that will be a real pain! Still, it's not my fault if my nursery plans my half day off when they know the examiner is coming, I'm not going to miss a precious few hours when they can reschedule if they have to - I mean I often do more than my contracted 41 hours anyway so I'm not going to do more than I have to (especially as I don't get any holiday for 6 months!!)

Right, well this is a rambling post if ever I saw one, so I am now going to ramble off and get ready to see my Aunty. Have a lovely day, all. xx
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2 comments:

mamapé said...

:o *extreme blush* i forgot your birthday! i'm so sorry honey! you know how organized i am :p this year i'm actually going to go and and buy a little birthday book so ican write everyone's birthday in it, and then write them on the calendar every year!! anyway, i do hope you had a lovely day my dear, and that you did or are doing something fun to celebrate. i read your last post right afetr reading this one, and whilst it's a bit late now, if i know you, this won't be the last time this issue bothers you. just remember all the days you went through during those 4 years at university, when you just struggled on because you felt you had to. now you've found a job you're happy in, and that holds so many opportunities for you. all your experiences working at camp could have been leading to the SENCO training you were talking about. you've struggled for so long to get to this point in your life hon, you musn't throw it away. i've been in the position where i've given above and beyond for someone because i love them, (but obviously it's a little different with hubby and me, as it was a case of make or break)... but believe me- making decisions which make you unhappy is not good for your partner either. they see you unhappy, and they just get unhappier and more frustrated themselves because they feel like they can't do anything to "heal" you. Tim would never blame you for the fact that he's unable to switch jobs just like that- he made the choice to be with you too, and you're obviously incredibly important to him. the best you can do is support him, and give as much as you can without compromising on your happines, which would be a strain on both of you. anyway, i hope that's convinced you- you were born to care for others hon- but look after yourSELF!!! (or i'll come and give you my "pissed off and pregnant look" look- it works on hubby :D

1 May 2008 at 14:01:00 GMT
Chastity said...

I'm so sorry I missed your last post and birthday! Happy belated birthday!!

I'm sorry T is feeling down right now. It is hard to be in a work situation that you really dislike. Hopefully, very soon, he'll figure out a solution to the problem and make a change.

1 May 2008 at 14:45:00 GMT

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