New Year Meme

This is unashameably stolen from Chas.



1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?

I did a lot of things in 2007 that I'd never done before - worked in a nursery, was asked to write a blog on Celtic Reiki, opened (and then closed) an ebay shop, sold some books, made my own poetry books and sold some of them, opened an etsy shop and listed a couple of items but never sold them, tried to start a small venture selling bits of work... FELL IN LOVE... I could go on and on and on - 2007 really was a year of change and new experiences for me!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Well my New Year's Resolutions tend to be promises to myself rather than a resolution to change (see previous post) - so I promised myself a good year with lots of change and moving into a life I want and leaving the hurt of the past behind... I guess I kept to that one - go me!!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My cousin's girlfriend had a baby but I still haven't seen it and that was back in April (we're not that close to my cousins)... other than that no - but I still saw lots and LOTS of babies *big grin*

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My Great Aunty Joan died in March - I hadn't seen her in years but she will always be in my heart - she was very special to me in her own way

5. What countries did you visit?

For the first time in years I didn't travel to any other countries - I did move house and cities though

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

My own home. I house shared for the beginning months of the year and longed for my own place. Then I had to move back home when I realised I was actually *losing* money working at the nursery! Now that my debt is paid off and I am growing closer and closer to T all the time I am aiming to move back to Cambridge to get a small flat with him come the summer months - I cannot wait!!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

hmmmm somewhere along the line I lost question 7 *shakes head*... anyway... my biggest achievement I would say was standing up to my manager and deputy manager when I felt that their practise was not the best for the babies and finding the courage to stick my neck on the line for the welfare of those in my care. I knew I had done a good job when I saw how sad some of the parents were that I left and that some of them still keep in contact today!

9. What was your biggest failure?

My business venture... when I came home I was all set to start creating my own personal gifts (little frameable prints and greetings cards of my poems decorated with watercolour - they are lovely, if I may say so myself, but time and time again, although I truly believe were I to find the courage I could succeed, I just chickened out. I hope to improve on that this year!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

ummm well I still have problems with my digestion sometimes and my endometriosis has in recent months started playing up (I don't know if my coil has stopped working properly or it's just the hormones as I start a new relationship but it's painful and I had the first period in over 2 years and I'm too scared to go to the doctors for fear that once again I'll be told to stop wasting their time - I hate that I daren't go with queries because even when I've been so ill they have told me to stop making a fuss and it's too upsetting - I truly believe we should be able to go to the doctors without fear of being ridiculed... ok let's not go there...)

11. What was the best thing you bought?

hmmmmm I didn't really buy much at all last year 'cos I had no money... the WORST thing I bought was my new laptop which I needed for work (my old one was over 5 years old and falling apart literally) but the laptop has been nothing but trouble since buying it, it is clearly faulty, and yet the chain store I shall not mention has been so ridiculously awkward about it I am ready to quote them my consumer rights and use some rather foul language if I'm refused what I'm entitled to (a refund) once more!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

T's. He has been the most supportive, caring and perfect friend and then partner I could ever have wished for. When we first moved on from friends to bf and gf I completely freaked... I couldn't even handle kissing (I'm funny about my mouth) and I was sick with worry (literally). He stuck around (even when I locked myself in the bathroom) and made sure I was aware that he would take things as slowly as I needed. Since then he has lovingly and patiently helped me overcome so much and I even cried in his arms over New Year and I haven't cried in front of anyone for about 10 years!!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The media when they covered the Madeleine McCann story... I know that they helped spread awareness, but being the media they went *too* far in my opinion... I mean I can think of no loss worse than the loss of a child and no guilt greater than what the McCann's must be placing upon themselves day after day and yet the media just look for more and more juicy tidbits to add to the furore... it makes me sad, angry and causes me to lose faith in the amount of empathy and compassion we possess in society...

14. Where did most of your money go?

My bank to pay off my overdraft.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Two things - the thought of setting up my own mini-business and my new relationship (only in that particular order because that is the order in which they happened - obviously it would be the other way round for levels of excitement lol)

16. What song will always remind you of 2007? "

"Lifted" by Bliss - because I was listening to it one day and it just spoke volumes to me - it was like the song was quoting my relationship with T... the words "to be lifted, to become all that you see in me" is just perfect because T loves me so wonderfully I feel I can be all that I am with him and he finds all the good bits I never even knew were there! Needless to say I got right on with making him a copy of that particular bliss album. (If you pop along to this page you can click on the speaker by the song Lifted to hear those very words. I adore Bliss and another of my favourite songs of the year was "You" from the same album - to hear a long sample of this go here and play the first sample. This song, to me, symbolises all that I believe to be God.)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:? a) happier or sadder? ?b) thinner or fatter? ?c) richer or poorer?

a) Happier by far! I am perhaps the happiest I have ever been right now
b) Thinner - I have lost quite a bit of weight lately (unintentional of course) and am thinner than I have been since I was about 15.
c) Richer (though I am still very poor lol)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Meditated, trusted my abilities and also that all would be well, and practised Reiki.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying... I spent many long hours, days even, sitting and fretting over the future and life itself.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I spent Advent with my family, Christmas Day at home, Boxing Day at my Aunty's and then with T and his family and Boxing Day - New Year's Day with T, house-sitting for his sister and then New Year's Day til the 5th January at T's parent's house... it was a lovely Christmas!

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?

Need you ask?!?!?! For the first time ever (ok I've fallen for people but never really, truly been in love before... this is something else!!)

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Hmmm I didn't really watch a lot of tv at all this year... even my favourites like Strictly Come Dancing I didn't watch religiously like I normally would because I was too busy travelling to see people and working.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nope... I don't tend to hate people... I find strong emotions difficult... I have occasionally hated people, don't get me wrong, but usually I settle for mild dislike...

24. What was the best book you read?

hmmm I read a few books this year and all were good in their own right... the best were the first two Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis, Let The Circle Be Unbroken by Mildred Taylor and The Dean's Watch by Elizabeth Goudge.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I don't know if I made a musical discovery - but I did meet Lucinda Drayton from Bliss, which was wonderful! Hearing her sing in person was even more powerful than on cd - I cried!!

26. What did you want and get?

A boyfriend!

27. What did you want and not get?

A new camera as mine broke and I miss it SO much... I love taking photographs and there is so much I would love to post about and can't because I can't SHOW you!

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

That's too easy - "Stardust" of course... sooooo romantic, really funny... and the first film I went to the cinema to watch with T!

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I can't actually remember what I did... it was so long ago... but I do remember I turned 23!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Meeting Tim whilst I *still* lived in Cambridge... or perhaps I should say being able to afford to continue working at the nursery so I could still be living in Cambridge... but then again so much wonderful stuff has happened since maybe that isn't true... and I don't believe I would have met Tim if I *hadn't* left Cambridge - sort of like it was fated for it to happen this way so we would be forced to create a strong friendship first!

So maybe success in my mini-business venture... hmmm that's a hard one to answer because the more I think about it the more I realise that actually 2007, for all it's faults, was actually perfect - because everything happened for a reason, I'm sure!

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Lacking... I had no money to buy new ones (even second hand ones) so I am still wearing clothes that are years old and now far too big for me *sigh* I wore a lot of skirts because they are more feminine and easier to get away with when they are too big than trousers are, I always find!

32. What kept you sane?

This is going to sound like I'm preaching, but I'm not... what kept me sane was my faith that I am looked after and everything happens for a reason, that there is a plan and everything bad thing that happens is only happening because it plays a role which I might not yet understand...

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

David Tennant (as The Doctor) - oh he is just so funny and you can tell he adores his job... I find those two things (humour and enthusiasm for life) more attractive than anything else!

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Hmmmm I don't know what happened this year, I am very bad at following politics... but I guess I have ALWAYS been against ID cards (is it just me being paranoid or does all the info they want on the UK ID cards remind you too much of books like The Handmaid's Tale and 1984 and also history when people have been segregated and even killed based on who they are and what religion/genes they have?) It makes me shudder just to think of how easy it could be for this information to be abused and with the loss of personal data of so many people by major companies in the UK coming to light recently it has just fuelled my rage about it all!

35. Who did you miss?

The babies I used to look after and their parents - I cannot begin to describe how very much I miss them! I also miss the family I used to work with in Berlin!

36. Who was the best new person you met?

T, of course!!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.

Sometimes, though you may not like it, you just have to swallow your pride and do something you might not really like, in order to get to where you want to be.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Another one from Bliss... this one got me through Russia and it helped me this year too

"No more time to waste, no more excuses, gotta reach out your arms and embrace the sun. No more time for self-pitying abuses, gotta stand up and shout and say 'I am the one'. 'Cos there's been too much holding on and talk of being free - gotta jump off that cliff and be who you were born to be!"

New Year's Resolutions

I try to make a resolution each year - it seems like such a lovely idea - and I try to always make it something I want to do to make it easier to stick to. One year I made the resolution to let go of all the old rubbish I was holding on to (emotionally wise) and let the new good stuff in... that was the year I found an online community who I love dearly (and have met many members in real life) and the year I went to Germany and had a wonderful time. Last year I made the resolution to start living my life as I wanted to live it and not let other people's expectations stop me - and it was the year that I tried many ventures and began to realise what it was I really wanted in my life. It was also the year I began the most wonderful relationship of my life *big grin*

This New Year I didn't make a resolution - rather I made a collage with my love. We sat on the kitchen floor of T's sister's house (we were house-sitting) and cut up old copies of Country Living magazine and the National Trust magazines I had lying around and made an A2 sized collage of all the things we want to create and attract into our lives this coming year.

It took us hours yet it was the most pleasurable thing to do. We discussed our hopes and dreams with each other and found photos and phrases to express our wish of my move back to Cambridge, the finding of a home for ourselves, the success of T's new job and the finding of a good job for me, plus the time to invest in our house and our families.

I shall update with a photo once T emails it to me - it really is the most beautiful thing (to me). So this year there is no resolution - just a dream - that the collage of our love may come true. *cue the sniffing into tissues and gagging at the soppiness of that last sentence - hehe*

Lincoln Christmas Market

A couple of weekends ago the Christmas Market came to town. Lincoln has a rather famous Christmas Market, being one of the first English cities to really take up the German tradition years before the current trend in the UK to have small markets dotted here and there. Of course they are nothing compared to the real German Christmas Markets (of which I was lucky enough to frequent the year I was working in Berlin) but they will do!

This year was my first year to visit the Christmas Market in many - because for some reason I always seem to be away the weekend it comes. So I decided to invite T to come and see it because it felt like a very romantic thing to do and as I've never had anyone to share it with I thought it would be extra special.

Of course, the Lincoln Christmas Market runs from Thursday to Sunday and althought T wasn't arriving until the Saturday I still managed to go visit on Friday... and do you know why? Because my student (who is in a wheelchair) had never been and really wanted to go. So I pushed her almost all of the way up the hill (she had to get out and walk very slowly and unsteadily for the last bit of the really steep section because although we would have made it she kept getting nervous when every few steps I'd have to say "put on the brakes" *blushes*). Well you try pushing someone heavier than you up a really, really steep incline and see how well you do :op

Needless to say, however much I loved taking her up to the Market, I much preferred the more leisurely route I took with my sweetheart Saturday evening when everything was lit up and seemingly magical. We saw this beautiful music player (although T had to wait for ages for a teenage lad to stop dancing and jumping in front of his camera to take this picture - I'm glad he was taking this one because I might have just yelled at the lad out of sheer frustration at his rudeness)

We then found the "mediaevil craft market" in the Bishop's Palace and around the Cathedral Quarter (the rest of the market was in the castle grounds and round another tourist area of Lincoln). We saw some Romany painted pieces and the most gorgeous caravan (but unfortunately the picture quality is too low to share with you as all the photos were taken on T's phone as neither of us have a proper camera at the moment).

We then went into the Bishop's Palace and into the ruins to see even more handmade crafts. These masks were just so beautiful, the picture does them no justice at all.

It was all just so festive and, as I had suspected, romantic - walking around sharing Mulled Wine and looking at all the festive wares *sigh*. What a way to begin the year's festivities!!

For the first time ever...

... I'm wishing Christmas away

I know, I know - shocked gasps and double takes all round... I love Christmas, always have done and always will. This year I really thought was the year for me because in recent years Christmas has lost some of its sparkle... let's see...

Christmas 2004 I worked in Germany from September til 12th December so when I came home it felt like I'd never been away and I just could not convince myself it was Christmas already and all my shopping had to be done in a mad rush the weekend before Christmas *sigh*

Christmas 2005 I was in my final year at uni. I had been incredibly ill after an operation in the summer and my health was really flagging after returning to uni whilst still ill and having weekly deadlines. By the time the holidays came I was so tired I couldn't gather enough energy to really enjoy going out, spending time with friends, looking for special presents for each of them etc

Christmas 2006 I had just started working at the nursery and was sick, sick, sick... I almost didn't come home for Christmas because I was so ready to just sleep for the 4 days I had off. Once again Christmas passed me by because for me Christmas is not just Christmas day (in fact Christmas day isn't even the highlight for me now that the excitement of childhood has passed - now Advent is much more enjoyable, singing carols and finding presents for those I love and then wrapping them beautifully...)

So this year I thought would be my year!!! Alas... since starting a relationship with T, my life has pretty much revolved around trying to see him in my free time whilst not forgetting my other friends too much and making sure I still have enough energy left after all the travelling (trains are NOT much fun these days) to do my job well. So the very fact that the only time we ever get together is split over 2 days when one or both of us is exhausted and the rest of the family all want to meet us/see us etc we decided we had to make some time to get away and be together on our own over the New Year...

Here comes the best part.... T's sister, her husband and their daughter are off for a few days over the week between Christmas and New Year and have asked us to house sit and told us they are more than happy for us to use their house as a refuge for a few days peace and quiet, curled up watching good movies and tv specials, eating good food, and simply enjoying having each other to ourselves and not having to share the other with anybody else (yay!)

So can you see why, for once, I am actually half willing Christmas to hurry up and be gone so that I can get to those glorious days alone with my sweetheart? I know, I know I am going to make the most of the festive days and enjoy being with my other friends and family - but you know how it is in those first few months of a relationship, right? And long-distance is not the funnest of ways to begin such a thing...

Counting down the days - not long now - yippee!!

I'm a blogging slacker

Sooooooo sorry for the lack of updates - I promise to post something over the next few days - but for now I am off to bed to sleep off the Christmas dinner and wine I just had (ok 5 sips of wine but for someone who doesn't drink that's a LOT!!!) and catch up on the sleep I have not had for the past 2 months lol

Sweet dreams xxx

So bad...

I am so bad at keeping up with this blogging malarkey *blushes*.

I have so much I could have blogged about but my time at the moment just seems to be taken up with work, talking to my darling bf and travelling all over the UK to either spend some time with him ('cos we don't live in the same town) or meeting friends I've met online and want to meet in person.

Things are going so well with my bf. We met each other online just after I left Cambridge (which is where he lives). We fast became friends and started seeing each other every so often for the weekend to just have some fun together with a like-minded person (he is so like me in so many ways it is unbelievable... I will expand on this in a later post I hope).

When we both discovered we actually wanted more than friendship I was so excited but my fears of intimacy got the better of me and I actually screwed the whole thing up. Thankfully my bf is a wonderful, caring individual and he helped me to feel safe enough to share my fears with him and he persuaded me to make more time for me to really sort out how I was feeling (another reason why I have not been online so much recently).

Last time we spent the weekend together was wonderful and I am so looking forward to seeing him again this weekend for his sister's wedding *big grin* (Hopefully I'll also have a picture or two of the darling boy after that!!). On a friendship level things couldn't be better - it's the intimacy I am not used to and on one awful weekend I got so stressed out I threw up.

I am so happy but so exhausted from all this travelling and I looking forward to Christmas and less travelling and hopefully getting to spend more than a couple of days with him at a time over the holiday period.

I've been keeping up as best I could with the blogging world, just not blogging myself. I hope to get a bit more posted over the coming weeks. But if I don't manage it... please forgive me...

In high spirits

I must ask you all to a) excuse the quality of this picture because it was only taken with my laptop's camera due to the fact my real camera is broken and b) the state of my room when this photo was taken because I was in a hurry to take it before I forgot completely and the roses started to wilt and I didn't have time to make the scene look prettier.

This is what came for me the other day - twenty roses! I've never had even one rose given me and suddenly twenty arrive on my doorstep!! You should have seen the look of absolute shock followed quickly by a pleasured blush which adorned my face that morning.

This week is turning into a real high for me - I met an online friend for the first time on Saturday and had my first ever manicure at her salon. Then I get roses. And my new boyfriend, who is the most sensitive and loving guy I have ever met, is coming to visit on Friday and we are planning a wonderful weekend to speand together. How much more can a girl want?

Well, a good job would be a start... oh yes, I've got that!!

How about a new laptop? Got that one too hehe

I've got it... a beautiful dress? Ha! Got that too - ready to wear to the wedding in December and apparantly the colours will go perfectly with the ties the men are wearing (now how did I know that when I bought it?)

Sorry to gloat... how awful of me! But I just cannot help it - my life is just so perfect right now I cannot help singing for joy.

Feel free to shoot me if you wish - I probably won't even notice!