Until I met T, I never knew how to let go and cry in front of others. I would run and hide away, ashamed of the fear or pain behind my emotions. I would yearn to be able to experience tears in both joy and sadness as freely as I expressed other emotions such as peace and laughter. Yet only now do I realise that in fact even my laughter was stemmed - I was living behind a mask, only showing what I felt was "safe" to show.
Since T and I moved on from friends to lovers I have become far freer in my expression, as he has gently and lovingly guided me to let go and supported me in the ensuing responses. I have laughed like I was a child again, and so too have I cried!
Working with children reminds me just how freely they express how they feel. They have no shame, no fear or rejection - they live in the moment and experience in the space of two minutes a whole rainbow of emotions. It is beautiful and inspiring to see and I am thankful each day for the opportunity to see this.
So crying, for me, is a freedom, a blessing that I had lost sight of. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, in those strange and often confusing years of adolescence I lost the ability to feel fully. So today I am moved to remember the beautiful gift of tears.
Just as children use their tears and laughter to express their needs and desires when words are not available to them, so too do tears and laughter express what I can find no words for. As a linguist and poet I am someone who has lived her life fully focussed on the use of words to express whatever she has in her heart and mind. It is an almost uncomfortable position to find myself in, when looking into my love's eyes or seeing the world afresh from a place of love, to not be able to put into words just how I feel. This is where the rediscovery of tears and free laughter has been a true gift and blessing.
I wanted to include in this post a poem, as I have in all my previous Sacred Life Sunday postings. So I went to the bookcase and ran my finger along our poetry shelf and picked up the book Rainbows Through The Rain by Fiona Castle (Roy Castle's wife). The book contains poems, writings and bible quotations which helped the author to get through the hard times after her husband died, and the following poem was the one I opened up at today - it is perfect for the theme of today's post. Although I have not lost a love, I have felt the blessing of tears through my love and wish to share the following poem with you. Whether you believe in a God or not, I hope you enjoy the poem and are lucky enough to experience the true gift that tears can be in our lives.
With Love
Amanda xx
The Gift of Tears
Who has the wisdom to count the drops of rain
or the tears that flow from heartfelt pain?
As rain comes from the heaven to water the earth,
do tears come from the eyes to water the heart?
It is God who tips over the water jars from the heavens.
It is He who put the tears into the soul.
It is He who designed tears to flow from the eyes.
It is He who waters the Spirit to grow in our lives.
So what are tears but a language all of their own
between God the Creator to mankind on earth?
They are the unspoken and unspeakable words of wisdom,
our hearts speaking to His heart
and once shared with Him, He is with us.
Joan Morris
3 comments:
Let it all out, sister!
Greetings. Thanks for dropping by my blog yesterday. I'm glad that it seems to be saying something helpful. Anyway - by way of reciprocity - I thought I'd take a spin by your own and say hello too. I have a proper read of it but on a first visit it seems a Kind Blog indeed. Enjoy.
Hello honey- maybe you're wondering who it is? an old friend- I'm sure you'll guess who when you go and check out my blog, and i think you'll be really excited about it's subject! have been reading your blog a little while since a certain someone pointed me this way- hope you don't mind :$ it's been SO wonderful to see how your life is shaping up :) come and visit my blog soon! :)
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